When I Become Queen of the Universe (Blog Roll post)

When I become Queen of the Universe (in no particular order)...

1) Wars will be fought with the parties' choice of the following weapons: pillows, apple pies, cards (game of poker, anyone?) or board games.

2) Maternity leave will actually reflect the actual time it takes to physically, mentally, and emotionally recover from childbirth, learn how to feed and take care of a brand new life, and regain some sanity in the process. And fathers will get the same amount of leave as mothers.

3) Every building will have a room for breastfeeding mothers. This business about pumping in the bathroom? Not happening. If we really think "breast is best," then it's time to make it easier for all mothers to do it---not just the ones who have their own offices or who stay at home.

4) Road rage will be banned. So will tail-gaiting. And light-flashing and...and...well, I drive in SoCal, what more do I have to say?

5) Rude people will have to attend charm school---Miss Manners, or the Ehell Dame, will be running it. ;-)

6) Abusers---of women, children, or animals---will get a lot worse than a slap on the wrist. I don't have Zeus' power of lightening bolts, but I'm sure I can think of something....

7) People suffering from infertility will have full medical coverage, just like any other illness or disorder.

8) Blocking aisles, carrying on a long conversation while doing so, talking loudly on your cellphone while driving or doing any other activity (do we REALLY need to know about what you're having for dinner?) is cause for immediate shunning and sentencing to the Island of the Clueless.

9) Oh, and pedestrians? The light means you can go. It does not mean, "Walk slower than a snail's crawl and glare at the cars you're holding up."

10) Conversely, if pedestrians have the light, give them the right of way. Failure to do so will sentence you to five days of writing "I will not be a clueless boor" on the charm school blackboard. (See #5)

8) Those who fail to MYOB and/or recognize appropriate social boundaries, will be sentenced to four years to life on the Island of the Clueless.

Thus Saith the Queene. :)