Some thoughts on Mother's Day....

Okay, yes, I know, it's not Mother's Day yet...but since I plan to be out with my family tomorrow, I'm writing this now.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day and like I do every time this year comes around, I wonder about it. I remember being infertile and knowing that the odds of us ever conceiving a child were highly unlikely. Then, it was a day of what felt like endless cruelty, a reminder of the thing we wanted and couldn't have. And the holiday was everywhere---on the radio, in the stores, on TV. You couldn't escape it, even if you wanted to. And during those years, we desperately did.

Now that Ms. "Highly Unlikely" is three and a half, I think about it more. So much of Mother's Day--the ads, the cards, the flowers--seemed based on a massive guilt trip. "Buy these flowers for your mother, be her favorite kid." (Yes, I heard that one yesterday. I'm an only child but...gaaack.) I don't want guilt from my child--she doesn't "owe" me anything. I chose to get pregnant, I chose to become a mother. I try my damndest to be the best mother I can..but my daughter doesn't owe me flowers, or a card, just for being her mom.

I confess I bought into the hype---my mom (who is home and recovering from her hospital stay) loves her Mother's Day cards and would be hurt if she didn't get one, so I sent her one. But the more I think about it, the more I'm not sure I like the guilt of Mother's Day. I'm going to go out tomorrow with my husband and daughter and enjoy the time we have as a family. And when my daughter is old enough---I'll tell her that the only thing she owes me is really what she owes herself, to be the best person she can. The cards, Hallmark can keep. :-)