Monday, December 6, 2010

You are my sunshine...

To my daughter, on her birthday....

I found your sonogram pictures the other day---five or six of them, stored in an envelope with your birth certificate and the name chart and growth chart from your stint in the NICU. The sonogram pictures were our first pictures of you---the earliest of them was when you were a whopping 4mm long. I was five or six weeks pregnant and terrified that I was having another miscarriage; my OB took pity on me and my fears and squeezed me in, somehow, for an ultrasound.

And that was when I saw you for the first time. I realize, if you read this later, that you might think that you looked like a really small baby, but you didn't, not then. You did look like the seed that gave you your first nickname (Sprout) before we knew if you were a boy or girl...but then, that early, you were just this tiny life who'd arrived in our lives against tall odds. I fell in love with you then---which you probably won't truly understand until you have a child of your own, but it's true. I saw you on that screen and I knew I'd fight for you, struggle with you, love you, no matter what.

It's four years later, four years since your birth and I don't quite have the words to describe how you've changed both of our lives---the terror and joy and hope and awe that we've felt as we watched you be born and grow. We're seeing more and more of you now, parts of me, parts of your dad, and parts that are most definitely just you, the unique presence that I first saw on that ultrasound all those years ago.

Happy 4th birthday, Róisín. :-) We love you, so very, very much.


Jackie T said...

Hi, I loved your delightful birthday wishes for your little girl. Hope you don't mind me writng, but I tracked you down looking for your old Star Trek fiction, which has disappeared from the net. If you didn't remove it yourself, are you able to redirect me to it? I used to love reading your T'Rela series, but it's gone! Thanks.

Krista said...

Hi Jackie!

Thanks for stopping by :)

Wow, talk about a blast from the past :) All of my old TOS stories got eaten by Yahoo when they closed down the Geocities websites. I have a few of them uploaded at FF. net but I haven't yet uploaded the T'Rela Series stories. I'm not sure when that will happen but when I do, they'll most likely be hosted either on FF. net or on my fanfic blog (I believe the link to it is accessible through my profile here.)

Once again, thanks for stopping by. I'm glad you enjoyed my stories :)

-Krista :)

Jackie T said...

Thanks loads for that! I appreciate that, with a real life, you may not have time to upload! But if you can, please do. There's a shedload of dross out there in ST fanfic, and quality writing is hard to find and and an oasis in the desert when one does happen upon it. I'll look out for it. No pressure! What name do you use on

And, happy Valentines Day!

Krista said...

Hi Jackie,

I don't know how I missed your follow-up comment---my apologies for it taking so long to get back to you. :)

I'm under Aliset on FF. net. :)

Thanks again for stopping by,

Krista :)

About Me

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Wife, mom of a preemie, follower of the old ways, lover of anything Irish or Celtic, history buff, trivia nut, Star Trek and Ren Faire geek and costuming fiend. Offer me coffee or chocolate and world peace is assured. Or at least I'll try really hard. :) I also believe in deleting spam. So, to the person or persons who keep leaving me comments in Chinese (along with links to what I can clearly tell are Chinese porn sites) stop it. It's bad karma, to say nothing of being really, really rude.