Yes, the (in)famous blog roll from Ehell is back. The topic this week is a Christmas memory, so...here goes. :-)
On Christmas, 2006, DH and I had a two week old baby in the NICU. What I remember most when I think about it is how very small she was and how scared DH and I were. We knew she'd probably be premature (I still can't decide if I would have been happier not knowing that particular detail) but knowing it and seeing it are two different things. Everything is in miniature--hands, feet, toes, fingers. Her feet were just the length of my thumb. Her skin was so thin, thin enough that I could see the red light of the oxygen monitor as it pulsed against her foot.
I remember noticing the fine hairs of her eyebrows and the angel kisses on her forehead and the small birthmark on the back of her neck that was just like my father's. I remember how we learned to tune out the noises of the NICU--the monitors, the chatter, the faint whirr of breastpumps, just to be able to concentrate on our own child....and how we learned to read our daughter's monitors and speak NICUese. But most of all, I remember wanting her so badly to come home.
2 comments:
Wow. That throws into high relief what's really important at Christmas time. Thank you.
You're welcome. :) And thank you for reading---your posts have put a lot of things in perspective for me at different times.
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