Bite Me :-)

Just some assorted rants from the week (taken seriously, or not, as you choose)

1) Bite me: to plus size clothing designers. I have curves. I have thighs and hips and arms that shouldn't be as flabby as they are, but that's life and I'm dealing with it. What I can't deal with is plus size clothing. Note to designers: it is NOT enough to redesign clothing for skinny folks and make it larger. What looks good on a size 4 does not, often, look good on a size 18. (Trust me on this one.) I want actual sleeves, not cap sleeves, not flared sleeves, not sleeves that are ruched in weird places (hello, the only place ruching belongs is on a leine.) I want pants that fit with the inseam clearly marked on the tag. I don't need "skinny jeans." I want jeans that fit. (Such an astonishing idea, but really, is it too much to ask?)

2) Bite me: to bra manufacturers. Standardize your sizes, will ya? And boning on the side of the bra---who thought that up? It's painful and it doesn't really hold its form long. Remove it, please.

3) Bite me: to the grey hairs that show up more and more each month. I'm not even 40 yet. Couldn't you have waited a few years?

4) Bite me: to my daughter's early morning whine. Keep it up and I'll give you cheese with that :-D

And finally...

5) Bite me to the people in this country, on both sides of the political divide, who are more interested in tearing down than building up. Who knows why you do it---maybe because it's easier than the hard work of creation? I'm tired of the labels, the name-calling, the insinuation that because our president is not a "whiter shade of pale" he must be some sort of "sekrit muslim" or somehow isn't one of us. Where was your all-fired concern for the state of this country while Dubya was using the Constitution for toilet paper, eh? I don't always agree with Obama but in this country, I don't have to. And you don't either...but, um, can you take it down a notch or two or three? (Or 12?) Then we can have a civilized discussion instead of foaming at the mouth like a bunch of rabid raccoons.

/end rant. :-D

Today I Choose Not to Remember

Every year, I've remembered (or been forced to remember) where I was, who I was, and what I was doing on September 11th. I'll never forget (I don't think that's possible, any more than it's possible for the folks who were alive to remember Kennedy's assassination) but today, I'm choosing not to remember.

I'm going to out and celebrate life instead. My family and I are going to San Diego Pagan Pride---a local festival celebrating both the coming of Mabon (the fall harvest) and religious tolerance. We're going to go out, amid the trees and flowers of Balboa Park and remember that doing simple, ordinary things is the best antidote to the horrors of the world. I'm going to celebrate the fall harvest, the time when the earth gives of Her bounty, and I'm going to remember that this country is one of the few places I could practice my religion (or no religion at all) without fear of the religious police arresting me in the middle of the night.

I am going to remember that my almost-four year old daughter doesn't know about 9/11. And I'm going to treasure and preserve her innocence as long as I can.

Today I choose not to remember. Today I choose to live.

Blessed be.

And the Aunt Resurfaces...

I have an aunt. Actually, I have several, but only three of them are on Facebook and only one of them actually talks to me. I used to have two aunts on Facebook, but almost a year ago, one of my aunts decided to "unfriend" both myself and one of my liberal cousins before closing her FB account. Yes, the aunt of this posting. (That her reasons for doing so were political rather than religious is because, well, my cousin isn't Wiccan--so far as I know--but I am, yet she defriended both of us, the "liberal wing" of the family. *eyeroll*)

Leaving aside how juvenile that all is and was (what? People can't disagree without knickers being twisted?) my aunt has now resurfaced. I'm not going to try and "friend" her on Facebook--I didn't know her all that well (except as a perpetual thorn in my mom's side while they were growing up) and her more recent behavior doesn't make me say, "Ooh, auntie, I want to know you better." It's just so...weird. I don't know if she decided Facebook was Teh Ebil (an opinion with which I sometimes concur, especially when they monkey around with our privacy settings again...grrrr) and that was why she closed her account that first time, or what.

But I find myself hoping I don't get a friend request from her. Unless they install a button that says "Fool me once, shame on you..." :-D

Things That Make You Go, "WTH"?

Sigh. It's been one of Those Days. A full moon, Mercury in retrograde (which is supposed to really mess up communication) for the next month or so and...yeah.

But today's WTH moment is courtesy of a police officer (who shall remain nameless, to protect what I suspect is the perpetually stupid.) In a nutshell, the police officer was supposed to do something for one of my attorneys in preparation for her trial (which started today--and yeah, of the three most dangerous life-forms on the planet, two of them are attorneys in trial.) So he came in today, after much prodding and threats of a court order ordering him to show up...and brought his three young kids with him.

Now, I like kids. I like my kid. I like my friends' kids. But when he brought the kids in, one of my male co-workers asked me and the law clerk (also female) if we would watch the police officer's kids. Um, no. I was swamped, as was the law clerk. And secondly, just because we have two X chromosomes does not, automatically, make us babysitters.

It all ended well in the end (cop did his job while one of my male co-workers kept the kids entertained,) and I'm not actually insulted, just bemused. I'm a mom, and a happy one, but it's not all I am. It's just funny how sometimes that label, or the label of being female, can drown out everything else.

The Only Constant

I know I've not been posting here recently (well, not since *gulp* June LOL) and that's mainly because things have done a fair amount of changing since I last posted.

The major change involves my daughter. On Tuesday, she started preschool. No tears, no sniffling, she just waved bye and was off like a shot. I guess I could have been offended LOL...but the reality is, I'm not. I'm proud of her, for being the kind of kid---even at almost four---who isn't afraid to try something new. It's the start of a new journey for her, and for us...and if we're a bit more nervous about it than she is, I guess that's normal too.

(And for those of you who are wondering...no, no sign of another child yet. If it's in the cards, it'll happen. :)

The other change is that I finally got to meet the members of the writer's group I'd been collaborating with for the last year or so. (If you've been following my BatB fanfiction blog, yes, I'm referring to the ladies of "Everything...") We met in July, at a very small con (aka, "family reunion," the main difference being that no one's cheeks got pinched. LOL) and it was like we'd known each other all our lives. I confess I was surprised by that; many years ago, in another fandom, I'd met an author I'd been chatting with and when we finally got together, we had virtually nothing to talk about.

I can still say, nearly a month after the con, that that wasn't the case this time. And I can't tell you how happy that makes me feel. We all come from different backgrounds, but we never ran out of things to say, or laugh, or cry about. And you can never have too many friends.

So that's the update, such as it is. I'll try to post more often :)

Dear Spammers....

Yes. That means you. The people who keep leaving responses to my posts in Chinese with embedded links to porn sites, or bootleg video sites. Whatever.

Maybe you haven't noticed, but this blog is on moderation, which means I have to approve each and every comment you make. And you know what? I'm not going to approve anything you say. Ever.

So, here's a thought. Since you apparently have so much time on your hands (well, time enough to keep spamming my blog, which doesn't get a lot of traffic) go find some other blog. Someone who wants your links to porn sites or who wants to buy bootleg DVDs. Or both. There must be someone.

It's just not me. Or my reader(s). kthxbai

Some thoughts on Mother's Day....

Okay, yes, I know, it's not Mother's Day yet...but since I plan to be out with my family tomorrow, I'm writing this now.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day and like I do every time this year comes around, I wonder about it. I remember being infertile and knowing that the odds of us ever conceiving a child were highly unlikely. Then, it was a day of what felt like endless cruelty, a reminder of the thing we wanted and couldn't have. And the holiday was everywhere---on the radio, in the stores, on TV. You couldn't escape it, even if you wanted to. And during those years, we desperately did.

Now that Ms. "Highly Unlikely" is three and a half, I think about it more. So much of Mother's Day--the ads, the cards, the flowers--seemed based on a massive guilt trip. "Buy these flowers for your mother, be her favorite kid." (Yes, I heard that one yesterday. I'm an only child but...gaaack.) I don't want guilt from my child--she doesn't "owe" me anything. I chose to get pregnant, I chose to become a mother. I try my damndest to be the best mother I can..but my daughter doesn't owe me flowers, or a card, just for being her mom.

I confess I bought into the hype---my mom (who is home and recovering from her hospital stay) loves her Mother's Day cards and would be hurt if she didn't get one, so I sent her one. But the more I think about it, the more I'm not sure I like the guilt of Mother's Day. I'm going to go out tomorrow with my husband and daughter and enjoy the time we have as a family. And when my daughter is old enough---I'll tell her that the only thing she owes me is really what she owes herself, to be the best person she can. The cards, Hallmark can keep. :-)