Momento Mori

Today is the start of Samhain, the day when the walls between the worlds grow thin and our deceased ancestors and friends may yet come to visit us.

Today is also Halloween and we're taking Róisín, in her guise as Cowgirl Jessie, out for her first time Trick or Treating. I'm making Irish stew for dinner and we have an apple pie for dessert...and then we'll go out and join the hundreds of other parents taking their kids out.

Samhain and Halloween are where the two worlds join in my house. I will leave an empty plate for the ancestors and explain to my daughter (though she may not get it yet) who we are remembering, and I will light a candle (in this case, an LED light inside a votive holder) for loved ones to find their way home. My husband, whose beliefs are and always have been his own, may not understand my need to do these things, but he accepts them.

So today, I remember....

Sochi, my cat and my friend, who died in November of last year at the old age of 17. I miss you, my friend.

Chan, who brought (and continues to bring) such joy to my life through her art. She died in March this year....much too soon for all who loved and knew her.

My grandmother, who died eight years ago this October. We never really connected enough to know each other while she was alive; too many years and too much gulf of personality divided us, but still, I remember you.

My cats Tasha and Tess, who died within months of each other, twenty years ago. I've never forgotten you two.

And finally, I remember the men, women, and children---living and dead---who were or who are being persecuted as witches. The Burning Times didn't just happen in Europe and America, centuries ago; they're happening now, in Africa and the Middle East.


May your Samhain, or Halloween, be a peaceful one. Blessed be.

These are a few of my favorite things....

My daughter turns four in December (four!!!) and this is the first year she's really gotten into the Halloween idea of dressing up. However, as anyone who's ever been around a preschooler can tell you, time and patience aren't really their strong points (well, patience still isn't one of mine...:-P) so for the last two weeks, her dad and I have been doing the "No, Halloween is x amount of days away" thing.

In the meantime, she's dressed up as other things around the house. She's put on her kitty mask, thrown a blanket over her head like a hood and asked me, "Where's Catherine?" (Yeah, like that guy LOLOLOL.) She's also put her candy bucket on top of her head and announced she's Buzz Lightyear (though her dad made an Ichabod Crane quip that totally went over her head.)

I've been tired and frazzled and a little frustrated by life in general recently, and the holiday season is bound to make things worse, not better. So it was nice to have the reminder of the joys of being a parent---to see the world anew in the eyes of a child, to see her turn blankets and legos and boxes and ordinary objects into things of magic. :)

Sometimes, Life is Like That.

...sometimes, you're talking to a co-worker and she makes a comment that she's missing a toe and you remember, because she told you once, that she and her sister fled the Khmer Rouge as children.

...sometimes, you're talking to another co-worker, all happy and nervous because she and her husband have decided to have a family and she's talking to you because you're the voice of experience...and you remember, four years ago, that you knew nothing. Experience doesn't make you an expert...but you tell her what you know and what you'd wanted someone to tell you four years ago.

...sometimes, you're having That Kind of day, and then your email goes off with emails from insanely funny friends all over the country and you start laughing because in all the inside jokes and mangled words are people who truly Get It, linked by something we can't explain. And things seem...lighter, somehow.

Sometimes, in the course of one day, life is like that. :)

Turn, Turn, Turn...:-)

(And yes, if that puts you in mind of a song from the 1960s, that's the point. :-D)

Things are changing at our house---in a good way---that's making me blink at just how fast things are happening. My daughter is about to finish her third month of preschool, and aside from one minor melt-down when she abruptly realized her daddy wasn't right there with her, she's really enjoying it. She's growing and changing and just, well....becoming more and more of a person each day. Which isn't to say she was a walking asparagus or something before...but I look at her and I recognize bits of myself or my husband in the way she reacts or behaves. I don't know who she's going to grow into, but I bet the ride is going to be interesting, to say the least. :-P

And my husband is trying to reenter the workforce after having been a full time stay at home dad for the last four years. With the economy being what it is, I don't really expect things to happen fast, but for the last four years, it's been me leaving and going to work and coming home. It'll be a switch to see my husband doing the same.

Not much has changed with me lately, but the changes are all around me. As we head towards Samhain and the end of the year, I suppose that's only natural. :)

Bite Me :-)

Just some assorted rants from the week (taken seriously, or not, as you choose)

1) Bite me: to plus size clothing designers. I have curves. I have thighs and hips and arms that shouldn't be as flabby as they are, but that's life and I'm dealing with it. What I can't deal with is plus size clothing. Note to designers: it is NOT enough to redesign clothing for skinny folks and make it larger. What looks good on a size 4 does not, often, look good on a size 18. (Trust me on this one.) I want actual sleeves, not cap sleeves, not flared sleeves, not sleeves that are ruched in weird places (hello, the only place ruching belongs is on a leine.) I want pants that fit with the inseam clearly marked on the tag. I don't need "skinny jeans." I want jeans that fit. (Such an astonishing idea, but really, is it too much to ask?)

2) Bite me: to bra manufacturers. Standardize your sizes, will ya? And boning on the side of the bra---who thought that up? It's painful and it doesn't really hold its form long. Remove it, please.

3) Bite me: to the grey hairs that show up more and more each month. I'm not even 40 yet. Couldn't you have waited a few years?

4) Bite me: to my daughter's early morning whine. Keep it up and I'll give you cheese with that :-D

And finally...

5) Bite me to the people in this country, on both sides of the political divide, who are more interested in tearing down than building up. Who knows why you do it---maybe because it's easier than the hard work of creation? I'm tired of the labels, the name-calling, the insinuation that because our president is not a "whiter shade of pale" he must be some sort of "sekrit muslim" or somehow isn't one of us. Where was your all-fired concern for the state of this country while Dubya was using the Constitution for toilet paper, eh? I don't always agree with Obama but in this country, I don't have to. And you don't either...but, um, can you take it down a notch or two or three? (Or 12?) Then we can have a civilized discussion instead of foaming at the mouth like a bunch of rabid raccoons.

/end rant. :-D

Today I Choose Not to Remember

Every year, I've remembered (or been forced to remember) where I was, who I was, and what I was doing on September 11th. I'll never forget (I don't think that's possible, any more than it's possible for the folks who were alive to remember Kennedy's assassination) but today, I'm choosing not to remember.

I'm going to out and celebrate life instead. My family and I are going to San Diego Pagan Pride---a local festival celebrating both the coming of Mabon (the fall harvest) and religious tolerance. We're going to go out, amid the trees and flowers of Balboa Park and remember that doing simple, ordinary things is the best antidote to the horrors of the world. I'm going to celebrate the fall harvest, the time when the earth gives of Her bounty, and I'm going to remember that this country is one of the few places I could practice my religion (or no religion at all) without fear of the religious police arresting me in the middle of the night.

I am going to remember that my almost-four year old daughter doesn't know about 9/11. And I'm going to treasure and preserve her innocence as long as I can.

Today I choose not to remember. Today I choose to live.

Blessed be.

And the Aunt Resurfaces...

I have an aunt. Actually, I have several, but only three of them are on Facebook and only one of them actually talks to me. I used to have two aunts on Facebook, but almost a year ago, one of my aunts decided to "unfriend" both myself and one of my liberal cousins before closing her FB account. Yes, the aunt of this posting. (That her reasons for doing so were political rather than religious is because, well, my cousin isn't Wiccan--so far as I know--but I am, yet she defriended both of us, the "liberal wing" of the family. *eyeroll*)

Leaving aside how juvenile that all is and was (what? People can't disagree without knickers being twisted?) my aunt has now resurfaced. I'm not going to try and "friend" her on Facebook--I didn't know her all that well (except as a perpetual thorn in my mom's side while they were growing up) and her more recent behavior doesn't make me say, "Ooh, auntie, I want to know you better." It's just so...weird. I don't know if she decided Facebook was Teh Ebil (an opinion with which I sometimes concur, especially when they monkey around with our privacy settings again...grrrr) and that was why she closed her account that first time, or what.

But I find myself hoping I don't get a friend request from her. Unless they install a button that says "Fool me once, shame on you..." :-D