One Toe Back in the Water...

Yesterday, my husband and I went and looked at a couple of houses---not with our realtor, just on our own. (We're still saving the $$ we'd need for a down payment, so there was no need to get her hopes up or waste her time just now. :)) This was the first time we even looked at a house since the Great House Disaster....

...And you know, it wasn't bad. We looked at one house and immediately scratched it off the potential list as being about two inches away from being razed. The other house, though...that's the one that we both hope is still up for sale when we have the money to go forwards (and in this market, with a glut of short sales, that's a distinct possibility.) It's in a more rural area just outside our city and it's got a huge yard and tons of potential. And it's close to an award-winning grade school.

I'm not saying that this house is The One. I thought the last house was and we all see how well that turned out. But it's a possibility and one we hope to investigate further eventually. :) For now, it's enough to know that gently, we're getting back into it.

Today I Said No...

...and true to the wisdom I learned on Ehell, it is a complete sentence.

Some background:

At work, we are dreadfully short-staffed. So people with my job title were paired with a "buddy," someone who would be assigned a limited amount of the work we do, in the hopes that they'd learn enough to help the rest of us out. For the most part, it's worked out okay; my buddy is a reasonably intelligent person and we get along fine.

(And a qualifier here: I get along well with pretty much everyone I work with. There are days, however, when enough's enough. And today was it.)

So, I was helping one of my co-workers with a new part of the computer system when L shows up. L is not my assigned buddy, but I don't mind helping her when I have the time. I didn't have the time today (remember, we're short-staffed.) And I told L "Hey, isn't M your buddy?"

L says, "But M is busy."

I told her--gently, I hope: "L, I'm busy too."

I don't know whether L liked being told no. But the reality is, I think I'll have to start saying it when I need to---not because I want to be "the mean bitchy secretary" but because I have work to do that I can't do if I'm off helping people who should be trying to help themselves first. And at the end of the road, if I don't get my work done, I'm not doing my job.

So..yeah. "No" is a complete sentence. Who knew? :)

Of bugs, ER trips, and fellowship :)

(Yes, now how's that for a lead-in? :-))

This weekend has been...fun. In the same way that labor is fun, when it's over. :) I had a stomach bug on Thursday and my hubby went to the ER on Thursday night-Friday morning. (He's fine, by the way---just a skin condition called cellulitis, and not the blood clot we feared it might be. When a guy's had cardiac bypass surgery before the age of 40, we tend to get a little paranoid.) The ER docs took good care of him and he was home by 5am that morning.

Which brought to mind all the times he's been at the ER since we've been married---more than I care to count, that's for sure. And it's unnerving, and it makes our world feel a little askew, because---well, who asks for an ER visit?

As to the fellowship....well, I belong to an online fandom community for a TV show that lasted barely 3 seasons back in the late 1980s. They're having a convention in New Orleans this year and San Diego next year, but tonight, those of us who couldn't get to NO went online, in chat, to have an episode discussion. And that was nice, just a few of us from all over the world, chattering away like a bunch of fangirls about what we loved about the episode we watched.

Things are starting to feel more normal now that I write this down. Maybe this weekend won't turn out so bad after all....:-)

The Blog Roll Returns...

...or so we hope because when it's up and running, it's a lot of fun.

Courtesy of the Ehell Blog Roll, here's the topic for this week:

What's the farthest you have traveled for food? Did you fly across the country just so you could have the perfect bowl of clam chowder? Did you cross the state line just for a scoop of ice cream? What was it, how far did you travel, and was it worth it?

The farthest I ever traveled for food was...

Several thousand miles and multiple time zones away. It wasn't like the episode of "M*A*S*H" where Hawkeye gets a food craving and has ribs delivered to him in Korea...from Chicago. :-P Nope, my food experience happened on my honeymoon back in 2003.

My husband and I went to Ireland and when we were in Belfast (I think---I could almost swear to it) we had dinner at a hotel that served this orange soup. When I say "orange" I mean, "CALTRANS" orange, the kind of orange they tell you to wear sunglasses before looking at. That kind of orange. Come to find out, it was The World's Best Carrot and Basil Soup.

We've looked for the recipe several times since, and even tried to make it three or four times, but it's never tasted the same. So if I could order take-out from Belfast, I think that's what I'd get. :)

Monday, Brighid and the Working Mom. :)

Yeah, it was a Monday. Though not, strangely, a bad one. Maybe the Green Man helped a bit? I don't know, but I know I got a lot done today that needed to be done. I got in the zone, or what-have-you, whatever you want to call it. I was focused, for the first time in about a week (ah, PMS, what would I do without you? Oh, right. I'd be sane. :))

I kept having bits of poetry cross my mind today too---and I'm not at all sure what that was about. But since I've adopted the multi-tasking Brighid (goddess of the hearth, of fire, of poetry and childbirth to boot) as the main goddess I work with, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. These are poems I've read and loved, or simply been moved by.

So here's some of the ones that popped into my head today at weird moments.

"Teach us to care and not to care
Teach us to be still"
-T.S. Eliot, "Ash Wednesday"

"I am the wind on the sea
I am the stormy wave"
-Song of Amergin

"I arise today, through strength of heaven"
-Breastplate of St. Patrick, or, "The Deer's Cry."

"The cow is of the bovine ilk
One end is moo, the other milk"
-Ogden Nash.

Okay, I'm weird. Shoot me. But hey, whatever gets me through a Monday....:)

The Green Man cometh....

...and hopefully, soon.

For those who may not be familiar with the Green Man, he's a traditional, ancient icon of renewal and regrowth, of survival from the dead of winter. His face adorns many churches in Europe but I think, from what I understand of the history of the image, his history dates from pre-Christian times.

And I need the renewal badly, today. I'm fighting off a bout of depression that is at least 80% hormones (gotta love them...not) and some is just plain situational. I've been doing the same job for the last nine years and I'm no longer quite certain that I want to keep doing that same job for the rest of my life, or even the next five years. I'm pretty good at what I do, but I'm also realistic: there isn't anywhere to go from here for me, unless I want to be a supervisor. (And I really, really, REALLY don't. Been there, did that, have the scars to prove it. :))

In this economy, I won't be making any sudden decisions, and it's not like I have to make a decision now. But it's coming. My attitude may change if/when the economy recovers; we're having a hell of a time dealing with the budget shortfall and it's making everyone tense and terse, to the point where misunderstandings are becoming rife and, frankly, to the point where my tolerance for b.s. is getting very, very low as a result. None of which is, shall we say, a really good attitude when working in an office environment.

So this weekend, I'll be focusing on trying to work a little renewal within myself. Because---and it's trite, but true---change can only come from within.

Your friend might be nice, but he's still a kook

Yes, that was our day yesterday, more or less. I wasn't feeling well yesterday so I stayed home from work. I was dozing off on the couch when our landlord, "Al" (names changed to protect the clueless) came by.

Al is...different. He's a nice guy, and he charges below-market rent for this place, so that's two points in his favor there. But I really don't want to know him more than just our business relationship. I just want to write the rent check, call him when there's something that needs to be fixed, and that's about it. The problem is, Al found out about the house debacle and has now started coming by a lot more, offering all manner of advice. And this is a problem because---guess what---Rob and I have been through all of the scenarios and we're really not in the mood to be told, "Here's what you should have done." Or the really helpful, "You know, your broker screwed up." Um, you think? Really?

(And no, if I'd had my way, Al wouldn't have found out we were moving until the day we closed escrow, at which point we would have turned in our notice. But the universe didn't work my way there either. :-P)

Anyway, Al's latest bit of "helpful" info (and yes, I know the guy means well, but still...) was this. He has a "friend." (Cue Don Corleone saying, "I know a guy....") His "friend" knows "all there is about first-time homebuyers' programs. (Where have we heard this one before? Oh, yeah, the broker who messed us over said nearly the same thing. Pull me once....) And we should "really check out his website." Yadda, yadda.

Well, we did. His friend is a kook, somewhere to the east of Michael Savage and the west of reality. So yeah, I think we'll be taking a pass there. Unfortunately, that leaves Rob with the unwelcome task of having to dodge Al's questions (since he's home during the day) but that's life. Maybe he can just not answer the door....:-)